Thursday, July 3, 2014

Using DBT to conquer depression

I've battled depression all my life, I'm a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, survivor of abuse, I am a recovering cutter, I'm a recovering addict, been on multiple psych meds, diagnosed with multiple pysch and health problems over the years and I made a decision in 2012 to overcome depression and not let my life be dictated in negativity. It hasn't been easy but today depression does not consume me, not to say that depression isn't still part of my life. Like in my addiction I just had enough. I was on pysch meds as a preteen and teen, briefly as an adult when i was married. My life was saved when I checked myself into an outpatient program at Langley Porter October 2012, thankfully I had Medicare to pay for it.. While I used to teach CBT (no I am not referring to Cock and Ball torture for my perverted friends) and meditation I never lived it. DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) gave me the vehicle I needed to be living the life I needed I wanted and one I deserve. Mindfullness, Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, and Interpersonl Relations are fundamental and tbe foundation for how I deal with life. They have given me new freedom on how I approach and deal with life. I non longer find myself held hostage by runaway emotions. I took the program and ran with it. Through therapy working my issues and with my determination we incorporated these skills into my psych and therapy and by working with my health and medical team I've been off psych meds. I have handlers and sponsors and my support systems I check in with regularly. And DBT is just as important as working my recovery program. Its instrumental in reducing stress and living a wonderful quality of life I thought was unimaginable. I'm not saying I never feel depressed I just have a better way of dealing with things and I am stronger in all aspects of my life as a person because of it. I love myself today, I know I am beautiful, I am worth it, and I deserve the quality of life I believe I deserve and I and determined through hard work and perseverance to manifest these things. Today I'm happy to the point it's sickening lol and Wouldn't have it any other way. I am sober and I found redemption in a new life where I was once broken and shattered. For me I'm a mighty oak and will withstand all things. I've been through hell and back and there is nothing that is worth or an excuse to relapse, self sabotage no longer has a place,  and I'm the first to call myself out on my bullshit, thanks to the rooms of recovery. Just for today I am able to be and remain anchored in the light.

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katerina