Normal Right? .......to Freedom

A year ago I was In the height of my addiction. I had given up. My life had become unmanageable. Roaches overran my place, I stopped caring, feces all over the floor and carpet from Winter, because i stopped taking her out. Using became a necessity to deal with situations around me or not to deal, hard to tell which was which. It wasn't fun, but I used to think it was fun. The problem was I couldn't see how bad things had gotten. Its normal to be slamming the largest amount of drugs in a moving car, in one of many car services with out tying off on the way to Up Your Alley and being a Board Associate. No one would realize how out of it I was, i was functional. That was normal for me. Showing up places and in my head I was hiding I Just used. No one was saying anything so must been okay. Paranoia reigned. I was happy I was able to fit in size 8 skinny jeans. Normal Right. Showering could not eliminate sweat and bo from using, maybe no one would notice that I still felt dirty after showers. Normal Right. In so much pain barely get out of bed but I could somehow make it to the dealer or out of bed to prepare mixture if I did not have the stuff astrewn about by bed or on top my computer. Normal right? When people did ask if I was using I'd say no and get offended because I had probably not used since night before. Normal Right?

I was rescued 11 months ago and lifted out if that mess that life. A dear friend came into my life and removed me from the insanity and gave me a fresh start. He paid to have the roaches removed the carpet replaced he replaced the furniture paid for my guard card and invested in my life. Bought a huge fridge. He allowed me the tools to become self sufficient . I went back to work. 7 months later I moved out of the place after I said I'm going to change my life around. I started investing in my life. The furniture and fridge we gave away when I moved to help others out. I can't begin to repay him 11 months later. But today I get be of service to others, put others first and invest in the lives of others because of an individual not in the program. I am a better person today for him believing in me when I could not believe in myself. This is my life today. happy, bless and free