It is sad how much of my life I have not recorded. Since I had my original journal stolen (back in Dec. or january) that had everything in it since I joined the church. All callings, all thoughts all feelings, talks and 2-3 years worth of entries. However I need to start again.
It is interesting where comfort finds you when you need comfort the most. I thought my depression medicine really wasn't working thatwas until not taking it for 3 days. I'm emotional, suicidal, eratic. I'm not able to sleep, eating constantly. I AM LDS, I AM GAY and that seems like oil and water. However i was watching Jeffersons on TVland and they had an episode where they had a new minister in the church that robbed the congregation especially Florence not only of money but made her doubt her faith and such. But she learned no matter what, her faith is not or should not be based on a man or a church, But in God. I am a gay mormon boy, I strugge not with my faith in the church but whether I will follow the teachings of the church completely and thus being completely miserable or being happy and have a relationship that goes against the church. Well regardless I NEED TO TAKE MY MEDS. The church is true
