Reflection

I was the person who was the Ana in Frozen, who longed to belong to someone, who after a romp in bed I was ready to marry that day especially in my addiction. Out of all my relationships there were 3 people I actually loved and was willing to move Heaven and Earth for even if meant being someone different. Tony, Ashley, and Tiffany we're those 3. Don't get me wrong I had love for everyone but those 3 meant the world to me. And Tony I've never loved anyone more. Being Pansexual I see the person not the gender. That same codependent fairytale love is a deterrent in my life. There are things I want and need in my life before I think about a relationship, not to say I won't be receptive to one if just happens. Love is not something I can take likely in the context of my partner. Love is an indepth thing based on spiritual, physical, emotional, intimate connections. Its an intertwining of energy, a connection when I look in to your eyes a feeling of be lost in you and world disappears when I see you. It's getting to know me through dating. I'm not someone's treasure or love when you don't know me. I need to be romanticized but I need friendship first as a foundation. It needs to be mutual. I can't be bought. I can't commit with out making a connection. A connection that both will know it's right. This isn't so,ed at anyone in particular. Just a statement I'm still learning to belong to myself before I van belong to another. True love hasn't come easy for me but it stands the test of time. I just ask for RESPECT.

ENGAGE

E very Human life has Value, I'm no greater than anyone, however the homeless lives as they fight for life and death have more value than anyone.

N otice life, and surroundings, for safety and check your privilege. You are not the judge so instead compassion is key. Do not treat people as invisible

G o the Distance whatever it takes, to make sure people are safe, feel loved, and treated with respect

A ssist, talk, Humanize them, let them know they matter, love them, acknowledge the path they trod. Your phone is not more important than the suffering. Humble your self to get down on your knees, or take a stance of solidarity especially if it inconvienences you

G enuinely and humbly reach out. If a life can be save by you slowing down to observe that whatever meeting or finial lost means nothing than the person who found the spark when you share hope na love

E ncourage, smile, uplift, acknowledge, create and hold space for the person, and nudge them, empower them, let them know they matter, be the solution even if it's a smile

I am the biggest offender I don't want to see the world, not because im selfish, because like many of us we allow ourselves to become so busy and  disconnected because we give ourselves no room to see outside of our lives to decompress. We carry the load of our lives where ever we go and without taking time to connect with the world and learn self care we slowly become robots and lose our identity our humanity. We become part of problem and bury the solution.

To Engage one has to make a conscious choice to allow ourselves to experience the gift of interconnectedness and to be present in the moment aware of your surroundings not in your phone or gadgets.

To engage is to value life and those in front of you when you are too busy to notice the opportunities and your test of the human condition. Today I was beset upon such a privilege. Maybe it was my hands being full with food, or my testimony I had given in church, or just still learning who I am and feeling the need to embrace the world around me but as I hit BART at Powell Street station after being dropped of from church to head home, and I'm in my head worry about what I would do to get the money to buy new bed set or pay off current as well as the last 200 for rent. I came upon a pod of men who have seen better days, each with their own stories worn upon the face. The acoustic guitar player who strikes you as the type who wishes they could open for the grateful dead. One preparing his heroin rig and could care less about cleanliness, another content. And one whom seemed out of place; and when my eyes gazed upon him, a gentleman who had lost hope, and a voice very audible [I swear it was Ms Margaret for some reason the valykarie has been at myside frequently lately and each time with a lesson, she is my role model] spoke he almost took his life last night. I felt like Roma Downey. ;-)

The gentleman in his forties hidden behind his scraggly beard, hands pitch black. Lee, which is his name had been in the City 3 weeks for medical as Vancouver could no longer help him after 12 months in the hospital due to fighting the fires as parajumper and got caught it a bad gust and shattered his Bones against a tree. 290,000 in medical bills out of his pocket. Sometimes I hate being empathy and without fail accurate as always I read his whole life through the tear stricken eyes. As I treated him as my equal, validating his life and letting him know he isn't invisible,  and people care. Over an hour I sat among the pod giving him resources to get the help and plugged into services.  I encouraged persistently that he needed to go get a shelter bed tonight and rest for the first time I'm 3 weeks, take a shower, get clean clothes and feel human again, so he could do what he need for himself. I gave my name and number, yes my direct number and told him to call me if he still needed help with services and much prompting I was able to get him to take leave from the pod and go to glide to get get a bed I was going to walk him to the escalator and then catch my train. No the voice again spoke you engaged now see it through. I walked with him to Glide as we talked of hope, my experience on the street and the goals he had and I till him watch in 2 years you will have it all. Glide was closed. I got him a sack dinner so he could eat, and walked him to the 27 line at Powell and and asked the bus driver if he would give Lee a ride to MSC South, he obliged I said our partings and once on the bus 2 hrs later I head to my train.

I found myself engaging with people on train and the bus and jovial enjoying the moment while my phone still remained in my purse. I say hi and smile I'm cordial bit today I engaged. And he was about to kill himself last night and I'm grateful to see that he was protected. Today I saw GOD, I was beset with the gift to be and example of love and give this man back his dignity. That says it all I gave him. Back his dignity, he was my equal, he was my lesson of strength and humility as I helped him find empowerment.

Then I got home 6 hours on the phone with a friend, I hate talking on the phone and yet it was an absolutely joyous time. I tried writing this throughout the evening and just kept on being on hold due to being present for others.

How are you going to ENGAGE and be the BEACON of Agape love and fortifying the human condition.

I implore all who takes the time to read this to think and meditate upon the gifts we been given, and know there is always gratitude to be found. Lest not forget our own struggles and darkness we we were brought out of so that we can share that joyous light. Who will you ENGAGE this week.

**I hold no rights to the jedi bear picture. May the force be strong and cuddly