Prescribed Films- Indie Filmmaking Holding True to its Name

After being in Utah for 3 weeks for filming 2 commercials and a short film, casting for my film "Take Stand," two table reads, a photo shoot, shooting my Indiegogo campaign video, securing donations for Silent auction, speaking to a group against bullying and suicide and walking the Red Carpet for the premiere of the new Soap Opera "Proper Manors" [www.propermanors.tv] I find myself  in a strange new world, another planet, galaxy or even possibly what could be the gateway to the twilight zone. This place, which can only be entered into through some rift in the space time continuum in Iowa that really creates a reality that my no means know what the concept of normality is, this vortex or gateway is called Prescribed Films.

Prescribed Films is a indie film group and company that supports the concept of no or low budget feature film making. While the group consists of very talented and highly qualified crew and Talent and looks like a regular film set, in reality has been the metaphorical rabbit hole of film making turning my concepts and training upside down, twisted and kinked, to the point that these filmmakers are sane compared to the quote unquote filmmakers I am used and by no means are they conventional.  I had to learn very quickly what to eat and what to drink in order to survive this truly unique land of wonder.  Prescribed films is about being a family and not being defined by particular labels or ideas of film making while having fun and treating each day on set as an opportunity to run with the bulls or run among the stallions as this is about having fun, adventure, and for the mere thrill of being part of something greater than one person but about the ability of the team and family.  I had to quickly adjust to quirks lack of seriousness , while giving myself a just let go enema as I needed to quickly stop being a tight assed, anal retentive cunt who takes her job too seriously.  Every director has their on way of doing things and as was described to me we have many professional quality people who work with prescribed films who refuse to work on any other films besides prescribed unless they are very similar to the mission of Prescribed in order to avoid the politics, egos, and annoying I am all that attitudes.

While I have worked on many film sets this team this family working on "Demonica" is by far the greatest set I have ever been on.  I don't mean this as a slam to the wonderful people I have worked with in the past on various project.  If a film shoot can get me to not me an uptight tunnel visioned filmmaker especially as the Script and Continuity Supervisor by day 2 then there is true magic on this set.  While my continuity eye is key for this film, I am doing unconventional means of script supervisor paperwork and such and its okay. I hate to say it especially when I'm very OCD about stuff like this, that I don't have to be perfect. Just have to be who the director needs me to be.

While I am overzealous I am learning to relax breathe and take it easy.  I do not have to do everything and I( just need to enjoy the adventure.  Prescribed Films is a wonderful group to be working with and I am greatly blessed, honored, and privileged as a filmmaker to be working with this group and invited into their world.  This feature production is a journey on opening the mind and just flow and I know I will be learning a lot from these great filmmakers.

What is worse than Demons, Demons on roller skates.

 (picture is a general stock photo of me filmmaking in Utah nothng to do with Prescribed Films)

The directors Jason Bolinger and Insane Mike Saunders owned up to March of this year the Insane Asylum, a cult movie, collectable, and horror emporium in Ottumwa, Iowa.  If you are looking for a old cult or horror VHS or DVD let me know and i will see if he still has it for sale still as the still have merchandise available.

When I move out Iowas my place place is going to be a tribute to all film making.   Prescribed Film members also have nicknames that we go by and usually something that is associated with our live as people and filmmakers.  My film nickname is "Phoenix" as it is part of the logo for my company as well for me represents empowerment, strength, renewal and healing, life, and the ability to rise above and and overcome.  So as a filmmaker I am Phoenix.

Original Quote

Original Quote

Life is an amazing journey that is full of obstacles, twists and turns, and detours; However, it is through our journey on the unknown path that we find light, happiness, and blessings as we light the way with our Christian testimonies.  For its through the good and the bad, the rough and smooth sailing, peace and chaos that we grow as individuals an continuously grow as a person and receive the greatest treasure of all- the ability to be your own unique and individual as a child of God-  KGD Original Quote 3/10/12

original quote

Original Quote

Life is an amazing journey that is full of obstacles, twists and turns, and detours; However, it is through our journey on the unknown path that we find light, happiness, and blessings as we light the way with our Christian testimonies.  For its through the good and the bad, the rough and smooth sailing, peace and chaos that we grow as individuals an continuously grow as a person and receive the greatest treasure of all- the ability to be your own unique and individual as a child of God-  KGD Original Quote 3/10/12

Sitting On Top of the World

 Originally posted as a facebook Status Feb 2, 2012

I'm uncertain about finances as I said in my last post, however right now I am sitting on top of the world and temporally and spiritually blessed. My life is amazing and I just need to learn to clean the windows to see life and open the door more often for the fresh breath of air and the blessings and spirit to come in and bless my life and the life of others. I was under the weather and physically, mentall, and spiritually drained today and yet I was given a Heavenly lift when I needed it the most as I sit in and participate with the missionaries Elder and Sister Leavitt as the teach Moma Rose and Makeya the lessons as they prepare for baptism- the room is filled greatly. These two are such blessing in my life and moma rose and makeya are family out here and help me so much over the last year and half. I had the privilege and honor to be a servant to a few different friends today. 

 I am on such a Spiritual high where I'm in between planes fully energized beyond belief. The veil is thin as always has been with me and I'm be blessed on both sides of the veil. I feel like I'm not me in my body but a strong light and energy source and I'm watching myself on the sidelines. I know I'm crazy lol however the way I fully feel is beyond words can describe on this temporal plane. For I have had many personal and out of body experiences in my life as my spirit travels to a spiritual plane where I've received personal revelation and walked the streets of heaven. For my life has always been spiritually unique but today is like no other I'm full of agape love, everlasting light, and I have been made into a pillar of strength. I can do all things in Christ. I blessed by this unexplainable blanket of the spirit. I know the path to Zion, I belong to a wonderful ward and stake, I'm blessed my by bishop, and bishopric, the stake presidency and all the wonderful members of my ward, relief society, and the wonderful priesthood holders in my life who bless me continually by their faith love and compassion and willingness to serve. And major blessing in my life is Mitch Mayne whose faith, service, and willing to do what he knows is right- to serve the LGBT mormons and LGBT community and Bridge the gap between them and the church and this ally is proud to serve with him. Its wonderful to experience a more deeper connection with the spirit as I will be giving the talk on the Gift of the Holy Ghost at my friends baptism. My journey has been great as a minister at witness of the wonders of God and life. The temple and the covenants I made within are a beacon of light empowerment and everlasting love. I keep my eyes and heart pointed as a compass to blessing and peace of the temple and wonders within as a chance to leave this temporal world if only for a moment and experience the blessing on both sides of the veil and all things can be fixed in the temple. The world is not my oyster its my gift as a witness to the work and the glory of the kingdom of heaven. 

Brian Beckstead thank you for the wonderful gift you gave to the world when you wrote the novel "Stallion Warriors" with love and testimony and witness God gives you in the healing of life from the hurt and anger in the original manuscript; for that book was and is the pinnacle of hope, love, compassion and forgiveness, and it has forever changed my life. Those I have shared with and really brought eternal focus and perspective both temporally and spiritually in my life when it was needed most when I was lost in the darkness. For you Brian whether a member of the church or not are really a special guardian angel sent here for the purpose of showing us what true love and servantude. Mitch also is one of those special angels sent here to be themselves and touch the world undauntedly. I am a witness to the wonders and blessings of Gods love regardless what religion you belong to God love EVERYONE EQUALLY with an agape (unconditional) love. Whether you are gay or straight, or part of the large unbrella of labels LGBTHQQIAA (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender heteroflexible queer questioning intersex asexual ally). Which are only labels and does not matter to God because we are ALL people and his children. We chose the life we live before coming to this earth and Everyone is meant to love regardless gay or straight. I believe in human equality. I sustain my prophet and priesthood leaders I believe in the doctrine, covenants and principles that were the foundation of the church however I can't go blindly and follow all policys when it discriminates against my earthly and spiritual brothers and sisters for the bible says the greatest commandment and was given by Christ himself love the Lord thy God and love thy neighbor as theyself. I support HUMAN EQUALITY and I take a Stand as a Mormon woman against bullying and persecution of our brothers and sisters- I pray this church begins to reach out especially to our youth because too many precious souls that have so much potential and is our future is taking their lives because we persecute them as the mobs persecuted the saints in the beginning. I pray we take a stand and not be the cause of our own religious war and repeating history but this time against our own. How can we be a witness in the Work and the Glory when we deny Gods children Christs light as we push them away from us as if they were lepers. The LGBTHQQIAA community is made up of our children parents brothers and sister grandparents, and friends. I love writing especially when the spirit takes over on what was to be a simple post, a new blog is going up tonight ill provide the link when its done. The title is "The Road to Zion- My incredible journey and witness"

So I will try to keep these long posts to the blog especially since the spirit took over on my phone as I type this before getting my computer out. If you are friends family and collegues and whoever is on my facebook is a blessing in my life and everyone of you is a blessed and precious soul who is very valuable and regardless of religion or lack of Heavenly Father, our brother Jesus Christ, the souls that have passed through the veil and those yet to come to this temporal world love you and support you as the very person you are because again your precious life and journey was foreordain in the preexistance as you covented with your Father to live the life you choose for you in love, respect, compassion, and equality. The plan of life of happiness was not to hate or exclude, be prejudice and in doing so closes the windows of blessings from heaven and you can not truly be a full witness of the Savior until you follow his example of love compassion and equality of all people. I close with this as tears fill my eyes as I've been blessed and honoured with the privilege that the Spirit allow me to share my heart with you-- live true to yourself, celebrate life, and be a beacon of strength light and love to all people, for we are hands arms bodies of Christ leave anger behind you show love, because even one person can change the world one person at a time, where we have the potential to light the world as you help relight others flames in and outside the church. 

I testify as a special witness of the agape love that our Savior and Heavenly Father have for everyone of children, I testify that when first take care of ourselves at the homefront first, we have know need to worry about others and how you think they should live. I have a testimony that the plan of Happiness includes human equality, I witness to you in love for everyone, and I know the scriptures are true road maps of the Saviors love to guide you in your personal journey and agency. I testify that all and any love between people is the most sacred gift of all is meant to be shared with all people as a gift to one another and to Heavenly Father both temporally and spiritually for intimate, physical, and spiritual love is meant for ALL. I humbly say these things in the name of the beloved Savior Jesus Christ.

I am an open book if anyone has questions for me about my life church or anything just ask and I will answer truthfully.

Sitting On Top of the World

From my blog Zions Path- the Incredible Journey and Witness

 Originally posted as a facebook Status Feb 2, 2012

I'm uncertain about finances as I said in my last post, however right now I am sitting on top of the world and temporally and spiritually blessed. My life is amazing and I just need to learn to clean the windows to see life and open the door more often for the fresh breath of air and the blessings and spirit to come in and bless my life and the life of others. I was under the weather and physically, mentall, and spiritually drained today and yet I was given a Heavenly lift when I needed it the most as I sit in and participate with the missionaries Elder and Sister Leavitt as the teach Moma Rose and Makeya the lessons as they prepare for baptism- the room is filled greatly. These two are such blessing in my life and moma rose and makeya are family out here and help me so much over the last year and half. I had the privilege and honor to be a servant to a few different friends today. I am on such a Spiritual high where I'm in between planes fully energized beyond belief. The veil is thin as always has been with me and I'm be blessed on both sides of the veil. I feel like I'm not me in my body but a strong light and energy source and I'm watching myself on the sidelines. I know I'm crazy lol however the way I fully feel is beyond words can describe on this temporal plane. For I have had many personal and out of body experiences in my life as my spirit travels to a spiritual plane where I've received personal revelation and walked the streets of heaven. For my life has always been spiritually unique but today is like no other I'm full of agape love, everlasting light, and I have been made into a pillar of strength. I can do all things in Christ. I blessed by this unexplainable blanket of the spirit. I know the path to Zion, I belong to a wonderful ward and stake, I'm blessed my by bishop, and bishopbric, the stake presidency and all the wonderful members of my ward, relief society, and the wonderful priesthood holders in my life who bless me continually by their faith love and compassion and willingness to serve. And major blessing in my life is Mitch Mayne whose faith, service, and willing to do what he knows is right- to serve the LGBT mormons and LGBT community and Bridge the gap between them and the church and this ally is proud to serve with him. Its wonderful to experience a more deeper connection with the spirit as I will be giving the talk on the Gift of the Holy Ghost at my friends baptism. My journey has been great as a minister at witness of the wonders of God and life. The temple and the covenants I made within are a beacon of light empowerment and everlasting love. I keep eyes and heart pointed as a compass to blessing and peace of the temple and wonders within as a chance to leave this temporal world if only for a moment and experience the blessing on both sides of the veil and all things can be fixed in the temple. The world is not my oyster its my gift as a witness to the work and the glory of the kingdom of heaven. Brian Beckstead thank you for the wonderful gift you gave to the world when you wrote the novel Stallion Warriors with love and testimony and witness God gives you in the healing of life from the hurt and anger in the original manuscript for that book was and is the pinnacle of hope love compassion and forgiveness and forever changed my life and those I have shared with and really brought eternal focus and perspective both temporally and spiritually in my life when it was needed most when I was lost in the darkness. For you Brian whether a member of the church or not are really a special guardian angel sent here for the purpose of showing us what true love and servantude. Mitch also is one of those special angels sent here to be themselves and touch the world undauntedly. I am a witness to the wonders and blessings of Gods love regardless what religion you belong to God love EVERYONE EQUALLY with an agape (unconditional) love. Whether you are gay or straight, or part of the large unbrella of labels LGBTHQQIAA (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender heteroflexible queer questioning intersex asexual ally). Which are only labels and does not matter to God because we are ALL people and his children. We chose the life we live before coming to this earth and Everyone is meant to love regardless gay or straight. I believe in human equality. I sustain my prophet and priesthood leaders I believe in the doctrine, covenants and principles that were the foundation of the church however I can't go blindly and follow all policys when it discriminates against my earthly and spiritual brothers and sisters for the bible says the greatest commandment and was given by Christ himself love the Lord thy God and love thy neighbor as theyself. I support HUMAN EQUALITY and I take a Stand as a Mormon woman against bullying and persecution of our brothers and sisters- I pray this church begins to reach out especially to our youth because too many precious souls that have so much potential and is our future is taking their lives because we persecute them as the mobs persecuted the saints in the beginning. I pray we take a stand and not be the cause of our own religious war and repeating history but this time against our own. How can we be a witness in the Work and the Glory when we deny Gods children Christs light as we push them away from us as if they were lepers. The LGBTHQQIAA community is made up of our children parents brothers and sister grandparents, and friends. I love writing especially when the spirit takes over on what was to be a simple post, a new blog is going up tonight ill provide the link when its done. The title is "The Road to Zion- My incredible journey and witness"

So I will try to keep these long posts to the blog especially since the spirit took over on my phone as I type this before getting my computer out. If you are friends family and collegues and whoever is on my facebook is a blessing in my life and everyone of you is a blessed and precious soul who is very valuable and regardless of religion or lack of Heavenly Father, our brother Jesus Christ, the souls that have passed through the veil and those yet to come to this temporal world love you and support you as the very person you are because again your precious life and journey was foreordain in the preexistance as you covented with your Father to live the life you choose for you in love, respect, compassion, and equality. The plan of life of happiness was not to hate or exclude, be prejudice and in doing so closes the windows of blessings from heaven and you can not trully be a full witness of the Savior until you follow his example of love compassion and equality of all people. I close with this as tears fill my eyes as I've been blessed and honoured with the privilege that the Spirit allow me to share my heart with you-- live true to yourself, celebrate life, and be a beacon of strength light and love to all people, for we are hands arms bodies of Christ leave anger behind you show love, because even one person can change the world one person at a time, where we have the potential to light the world as you help relight others flames in and outside the church. I testify as a special witness of the agape love that our Savior and Heavenly Father have for everyone of children, I testify that when first take care of ourselves at the homefront first, we have know need to worry about others and how you think they should live. I have a testimony that the plan of Happiness includes human equality, I witness to you in love for everyone, and I know the scriptures are true road maps of the Saviors love to guide you in your personal journey and agency. I testify that all and any love between people is the most sacred gift of all is meant to be shared with all people as a gift to one another and to Heavenly Father both temporally and spiritually for intimate, physical, and spiritual love is meant for ALL. I humbly say these things in the name of the beloved Savior Jesus Christ.

I am an open book if anyone has questions for me about my life church or anything just ask and I will answer truthfully.

PRISONERS OF ZION- the Road for Temporal Equality

PRISONERS OF ZION- the Road for Temporal Equality

By Katerina du Lac
January 20, 2012

SAN FRANCISCO- Temporal Equality is part of Heavenly Father’s plan for peace on earth as well as the plan of Heaven.  Chaos, hate, violence, indifference, bigotry and discrimination have no room nor is it in the plan of happiness. While Saints are no stranger to these things, it does not give us the right to continue placing the focus onto others and is not in Heavenly Father’s blueprint for the Saints in the restored church.  As Saints we fought persecution, riots and mobs as the church moved westward and yet we now in latter days raise these mobs and riots upon our own people and families.

I believe solely that we have the restored gospel and that we are built upon the doctrines and principles of Christ’s church; therefore we need to stop resting our qualms, theories, and policies from the false interpretations from the Old Testament an human infallibility of our leaders regardless their true calling and authority by the keys Heavenly Father has given them Himself.

As a society and church we still act as victims of our westward trek, which in reality taught us the importance of family and coming together as a people, united for the preservation of Zion while brought together in commonality to stand for one another and our church; thus finding ourselves tearing apart the very fabric of preservation of all Saints choosing not to live by the greatest commandment and foundation of the church, love thy neighbor as thyself. Love one another and yet after the inception of the doctrine and principle of this church we push our loved ones to drugs, suicide, and exile from church and family because of our take on how we feel about Human Equality to our LGBTQQIAA brothers and sisters.  The lives and callings the children of Heavenly Father are living are because of the choice the made in the preexistence with their contract and convenant with Heavenly Father.  Even in the basic fundamental principle taught in missionary lessons, we tend to forget, that we came down to earth to live, to be a gift and light to all people that we may learn to be trusted with the great things of heaven. Who better to reach out to LGBT Community than that of our LGBT members. However, we chose to abuse the great things of Heaven given to us temporally, one another.

Over 100 years later the LDS church still faces persecution among societal and religious sects, especially in America, and yet we aren’t able to learn form our own suffering as we cause others top suffer by our words and actions.

We are losing precious souls in the fight for Human Equality, where we need to take a stand, as a church, for one another embracing each other and lifting them up in love and support so they have the strength and hope against the pressures outside of the church.  We pushed and caused to many souls to fall away because of our policies. Do we have a conscience about how we harm one another. It’s easy to say No LGBT Mormon would choose their life. Every spirit child chooses their life before we came to this earth, and the suffering they will face from societal pressures, however where we expect to find refuge non is found. Not only the refuge of the Temple denied to most, the refuge and foundation is also absent in the families of those who are LGBT.

How will the church survive without another divide among the church, when her body is torn on the LGBT, or Human Rights issue. If we as a church took a stand for all people, we would truly find peace in Zion on the earth as we become the ultimate beacon and light to all people worldwide, member and non member alike. For we already possess the blueprint in the law of Consecration, Service, and Hospitality for when there is peace among the people, peace among the enemies can begin.

As a LGBTQQIAA member of the church I hold fast to my baptism and temple covenants. I bear witness to the doctrine and principles of the church and sustain our priesthood leaders, and I don’t blindly accept all our policies.

A quote from a favorite book of mine, “the Stallion Warriors,” forever remains true on the road to temporal equality; “To be a LGBT Mormon is a tremendous calling. The only way that I can explain it is to think of them in this way: God’s angels, with incredibly enduring spirits.”

Until we as a church, as a great people can stand for the weak and torment, we will keep ourselves and our brothers and sisters prisoners form the great and true blessings of Heaven. Ask ourselves how we can deny rights to others and block people from fighting for their rights, when Joseph Smith told the Saints to stand your ground and we as people have rights-fight for them in court if need to but stand your ground.  The precious souls of those who are LGBT and allies will continue to fight for Temporal Equality for all God’s children.

Holy Light (An original Poem)

Circle of light, burn bright tonight
Tears upon the night doth fall, from adults & children small
Voices in the darkness lost, freedom comes at such high cost. 
Refuge sought from all harm, solace found in mighty arms
On bended knees so one prays, as Christ the Savior lights the way.
May the Spirit descend like a dove, that all may know God's eternal love.
I decide to follow the paths that's right, & join the circle of God's holy light


Regardless of ones religion or lack of we are all children and beings of something and someone greater than ourselves. To many suffer needlessly when all we have to do is be a friend. When we embody Christ's love and join together with that light that can be found in others even in the unbeliever I imagine a great blinding light that is as equal to the glory of the heavens and shines for as a beacon of hope, love, friendship, and peace. The more people that come together the more this light has the ability to canvas the world to touch the lives of all and NO advesary will be able to stand against the light. Back at home though your light surrounds the ones you love and the ones you come in contact with. Who does your light night need to touch today, and maybe even light or relight their light. Love is the greatest gift of all and never let that light be hidden under any covering.

Love and peace to all and may your light shine forth always.

Love kat.

This original poem and message or mini sermon if you wish is for the world but was written with two special people in mind and when they read it they will know who they are.

2011 copyright all rights reserved. This work is property of C'est la Vie Media and Katandi Media. No reproduction or use is allowed without permission.

I am an American But Not Proud

Am I an American yes I am. Am I proud to be an American sometimes. Am I proud of our troops yes for they do as they are told, risk their lives with out question, because they were told to as the gods of Washington us Americas people as mere pawns in their self righteous rule. This country is suppose to be the land of the free and yet our politicians hold us in shackles of tyranny as they exploit the people to pad their wallets. We allow the religious right and bigots to crusade against God's children we focus on scandals rather than working to fix our countries budgets, and I remember a time I was taught that going against your president regardless of views was treason, all while politicians make a mockery of the founding fathers & get richer as the poor continues to be kicked out onto the streets starve as we watch this once great country at war w/ herself. The preamble to our constitution says "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." this country needs to get back to the basics show the world what true democracy is or admit defeat and become a second class country because this kindergarten bickering among parties makes this crumbling nation the laughing stock.

Pride Message 2011

June 15, 2011


Heavenly Father loves everyone with an encompassing, equal and agape love for all HIS children regardless of their religion or lack of and loves everyone for who the are and not according to the religious right ideology & policies of man. He does not punish anyone for being true to themselves & no problem cancer, death, AIDS or death or anything is by him. He allows our faith to be tested, he allows for govt to ruin society and sometimes cause health problems. However we are tested on earth as Job. He may withhold blessings until we are worthy. And even to the Religious Right he forgives those who use the bible for ill crusade instead of understanding what the true message. If you want to pick any verse in the bible to use against people it ought to be love they neighbor as the self, the greatest gift is love. Stop living under the misinterpreted law of Moses and live under the new testament law of Christ. This summer for those celebrating PRIDE live free in knowing that GOD loves you for who you are and that no where does it say that homosexuality is against the bible, temple prostitution was preached against and cultural difference and times prevented it, but no consenting love is perverse. I say this with the knowledge and study I personally sought out as an interfaith minister. Celebrate dance, sing, and pray for the Bible says this is your harvest so enjoy the reaping of your labor. Happy PRIDE to all. PRIDE true message is not about sexuality, gender identity. Its about loving your self for who you are and loving your life for it.

Faith and Religion

Written June 10, 2011 found in archives moved to blog for preservation

One thing i have learned over the last several years is religion is a collective thing and definitely, never perfect, sometimes chaotic, and not everyone will always agree with they policies and practices of men. Its faith however that is a personal thing that gives us strength, peace, empowerment in the doctrines and principles of our chosen religion and life path. by faith we rely on a power greater than ourselves regardless of whom the power is. Faith can be in one religion or path or all encompassing in many religions and practices depending on ones understanding. So lets COEXIST regardless of past prejudices of any religion and bring true peace to this country.

As for me and my house we are going to serve the Lord. The Religion I Proudly Belong to is the LDS church regardless of the policies and practices of men. its the foundation of the doctrine and principles I found root and solace in. My faith is all encompassing as I am respecter of all religions and also believe in a interfaith faith. it may be unorthodox but i find my faith rooted in LDS, baptist, Lutheran, catholicism, pentecostal, apostolic, non denominational, Hinduism, Buddism, spiritualist, christian mysticism, Jewish, Muslim, and student of the universe faiths.

I believe in the coexistance of all faiths and though I may be called to a religion and ideology and have personal witness in I can never forget where i came from, the person it has made and allowed me to be and the appreciation for the path I've journey. I will not argue religion with anyone, but accept enlightenment from others views, will not bash another religion but embrace them as a fellow brother or sister. The best part is I do not nor will I defend my choices in religion and faith because I know for the most part what is expected of me and i will never know everything until i depart for golden shores. however i do know i as an individual can work to bridge the gap between religions be open to others views and not JUDGE the religion someone worships in, who they are as a person, their sexuality, gender expression, race, ideology, creeds, or anything that makes them them. For there is only one JUDGE I am not HIM nor do I want the job. the only job I want is LOVING people as the persons the wish to be regardless if i agree with them or like them or what they do. I am not perfect, I am human, but like everyone born on this planet, I AM A CHILD OF GOD. And I am perfect in HIS EYES


Katerina Guinevere Swallow-du Lac, Ph.D
Interfaith Minister/Chaplain

intro

from positive being positive blog
 
At the start of this blog I have been living with, as a survivor, HIV for 16 mths. For me being HIV+ is not a death sentence, but unfortunately I can not say that about others who have been infected (due to personal bias and stigmas as well as new HIV strains that are resistant to all if not almost all retro-antivirals out on the market) Positive Being Positive is about living positive as someone who is positive, and also helping others do the same while spreading the message and encouraging others to stay negative.<br />
<br />
This blog is about education, advocacy, outreach and prevention. It's about bringing current issues facing society and being down to earth truthful. I can be a controversial writer to some and in this blog will carry my style home to touch lives. I am usually known as controversial because I hit a nerve with the truth. This blog will also contain hidden truths that you may not hear on the social circuit; because HIV prevention and care agencies, social services, and people in general do not want to face reality or talk about the issues yet they know it is in their backyard. (Even when I bring it up the subject is quickly changed)<br />
<br />
I myself have worked the social service sector for 10 years since I was 19, heard many stories, supported HIV/AIDS charities, and the fight against HIV. However even with the info I knew and know it took me becoming positive to speak up, and begin putting a face on HIV so here is the good the bad and the ugly-my life and society

HIV in my life and what I'm doing about it

March 22, 2015: this was written May 3, 2011 and since then I stopped supporting AHF and Out of the Closet thrift stores for political reasons. These reasons include AHF refusing to pay their rent for prime real estate for their thrift store to Maitri an AIDS Hospice who relies on that real estate and is a huge part of their operating costs. And Michael Weinstein crusade of morality and trying to govern other people's bodies and poem industry regarding condoms and such,  as well as his crusade against using PrEP as an effective forum of preventing the spread of HIV. One can only speculate that Mr Weinstein doesn't want PrEP for thesimple fact less Spread of HIV means less program funding dollars given. Less funding means less money to pad Weinstein's pockets who had made his money oft this disease.


May 3, 2011 I am a HIV Liaison, Peer Mentor, HIV counselor, as well advocate, interfaith community support, outreach & prevention specialist and HIV sensitivity trainer. 

So a few weeks back did a video interview for a web project that has the worlds largest database of videos of those who are infected and affected by HIV/AIDS.

I have also back in feb been interview about the new FC2 (redesigned female condom)its praticality, distibution, all gender and sexual couples friendly, and the significant changes made compared to the FC. 

Last month interviewed about how we need to educate the public and inform people affected/infected by HIV/AIDS as well as general public the changes happening to HIV care and prevention come July 1st. 

Today, May 3, 2011 I have a photoshoot for the FC2 ads for DPH that will be displayed across sf and other areas (also will be giving me new comp card). 

The river is this weekend and serving as HIV counselor and advocate for our HIV/AIDS clients for healing waters.

And Next week protest at Gilead to reduce the cost of antivirals (atripla alone is $10000/year not including other meds needed due to HIV related and non related meds)because the cost is draining ADAP funding in states across the country. 

I've decided Im going to go back to school to work in politics, journalism, and research in the HIV sector. 

If you know me you are affected by HIV some greater than others but affected either way. Please help save lives. Donate to my two favorite HIV causes and medical centers BCEFA (broadway cares equity fights aids) and AHF (AIDS Healthcare Foundation [in which I'm a client of and we have many locations in this country as well as mobile outreach]) also your local aids foundation just make sure you know how thay organizations uses their money. AHF $.96 of every dollar donated, spent at our thrift stores or pharmacy goes to help subsidize medication and care for our clients that insurance may not cover. Ahf provides free healthcare to their clients who do not have insurance or who are underinsured.

HIV is not a death sentence and does not need to be as long as people love and support those who have been infected by HIV/AIDS and encourage them to get out, have fun, and just live but you just need to show them they are cared about and help them find their own inner strength and empowerment living with HIV/AIDS as a survivor not dying from it.

If you know some who is infected/affected and you don't know how to help them contact me or have them contact me and I will help show you what you can do for them as well find resources in your area. 

Also my dear friend Makeya,( a wonderful ally of LGB community, HIV/AIDS community) is developmentally disabled as well as has cerebral palsy asked me to help her start a ministry for those who are HIV positive called "Caring Bears of Hope" she wants to be able to provide teddybears to people all across this country who have been infected to provide hope and love. People can request for themselves or for someone they know. We need bear donations and lots of them as well as money to buy them also and ship them also. We also would like to provide afghans knitted or crocheted, and hand made quilts to send to people. As we get more up and running and have volunteers we will keep a database and have volunteers maile their handmade gifts of love to those in need as well as sending to us to ship out.

We have the power to save lives just by brightening someones day with a smile. Let's be the blessing in the lives around you. 

Thank you my family and friends for you love and support and the sometimes swift kick in the but I love you all

Homeless Youth Outreach and Conversation

October 15, 2010 met these boys when I was on the street for a couple days. Even in my struggles they weren't near as bad as theirs. With little money I had I bought them a feast for a kid at heart.  Meet them behind the Safeway on market.  It really makes me sad when I think about this day and rear their accounts.  Putting it into blog for preservation.  I wonder what happened to them.

Names: Puppy 21, Tony 23, Creationist 24     in San Francisco they age out at 25.

Puppy is a homeless youth age 21, gay white male, been in group homes until 4 years ago and found himself homeless.  Puppy is a IV meth drug user   and prostitutes himself for drugs and food.  When asking him about life on the streets Puppy says shelters are no more safe, outside provides better environment even in cold weather.  Puppy would tell others thinking about running away or decide to live on the streets "Its a hell of a world out there. Don't get yourself killed.  He also said if you decide to live on the streets you need to figure out how to survive by yourself

Tony is a homeless youth age 23. straight African American male into prostitutuion and drugs.  Would love to get of the street and meth, which he uses intravenously. Tony hopes to be inside this winter with a place.  hasn't had any contact with his family.  For food he hustles and sells whatever he can.  Wants to go back to school get his GED and wants to go to college for forensics.  Before going back to school he wants to be off the streets first and somewhat stable.  He can't get Food Stamps because of a drug felony

Creationist is a gay African American who has been in the Larkin Youth shelter for last 6 months. He phases out at 25.  He is on SSI, has seizures and is a intravenous meth user who wants to stop.  He wants to go back to school for writing and to study the English language.  Mom knows he's gay and supports him, she lives in Riverside. He has also attempted multiple suicides.

They dined on donuts, pop tarts, string cheese, and klondike bars.

My Baptism Talk

I gave a talk at my own baptism


Friday, October 15, 2004

“Too many of us feel after the world.  Can the world give you the light that you have received, and the gospel and the hopes of heaven you have received, and the priesthood you have received?  And will you barter these things for a mess of pottage, and wallow in the filth, corruption, iniquity, and evils which abound in the world?”  John Taylor, 1876

What do we live for, and how do we live our lives.  Are our lives one that glorifies the world or glorifies our Father.  I have tried to live my life by God’s commandments, one in which honors him.  I have been serving our Father since 1992 at the age of 10.  Now I take a new journey one in which brings me closer to heaven and my Father.  As a former minister I am not giving up the call of duty as a minister but answering the higher calling to soon priesthood.  My life is being transfigured into a new greatness and a more special covenant.  I say to any investigators that may be here tonight the Book of Mormon is a true testament of our prophets and Joseph Smith and all residing prophets after him up to our current residing prophet President Hinckley are true prophets ordained by our Lord and not by man.  I know these things to be true not because anyone has told me to believe these things but because God told me these were so.

 
Moroni 10.3-5

Behold I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that you would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.  And when you shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if you ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.


Ask God what is true and what he wants you to believe for it is by his Word that I made my baptism covenant this day with God and became apart of the LDS family.  I choose to follow God’s will and live my life for Him and not of this world. 

Curtain Call

I am a synthetic shell of the corpse inside
The living dead during the open curtain call
The masquerade is over and the truth is revealed
The raven quotes nevermore
To have walked in life I was dead
To walk in death I am alive
I have jumped over the moon never to return
In the storm of judgement, oppression reaks
as a disease on the homefront

The generals and commanders have retreated
and have held themselves captive in the tyranny
and ideals of self righteousness
Realizing that their legacy is entombed in cement instead of immortalized in marble

To dream is a fools errand nothing more nothing less
For  when the wick burns its final light
The stage will be no more

Katerina G. du Lac  (c) sept 28, 2010

1st piece in a series of life writings