Cis Privilege

I had forgotten about one of the rewarding and perhaps the most important piece of my life's lesson that I was to learn in order to find my own freedom. And I still forgo the lesson that follows this because I allowed hate and anger to consume me creating an illusion of entitlement and until I was able to let go and stop taking hostages and allow people to break my walls down; while it wasn't easy, it became the most liberating experience I'm glad today my privilege isn't about what I am entitled to but a reminder of where I have been, where I am today, and that I am walking a path of gratitude, my privilege rears its head when i'm impatient or that I begin to act like I know it all.

To those that have it, privilege is subjective, as much as we try to leave it at the door, we can't because it is inept in who we are. It fuels our emotions, our actions, and then we choose to be offended and to have the audacity to claim that your privilege allows to you to know and vocalize to trans* community that we understand what you are going through, how you must feel. and can only imagine your suffering. The thing is that the White elephant in the room is right in front of everyone's eyes and yet no one can see it unless you never had it to begin with in the first place, and that is exactly what cis-gender privilege is, the elephant in the room. It is frustrating to be told that you understand what it feels like to want and attempt to perform multiple self surgeries on your genitals as early a 5 years old; or being told you get what trans* people go through and it gets better you just need to give it to God. There is no possible way to understand what we go through when other trans* folk don't even know everything about their friends and what they endured, for that matter we are selves are having to face life daily. I myself am white as dictated by the color of my skin, (even though I don't identify as white but as Native American which is mostly for spiritual purpose),so unfortunately in this country, the United States of America, having white skin automatically inserts and imprints itself upon you whether or not you wanted it or chose it as white skin dictates an unspoken superiority and privilege from the the moment you were born. However if you are a white woman you will find that privilege doesn't quite have they same footing in the world as that of your male counterpart; you then lose even more ground as a LGB individual along with the rest of the Alphabet soup umbrella. However while the "T" in what is suppose to be a member in the 'inclusive' equality club, finds out when they come to the room they are told that this is an "exclusive club" just for cis-gendered individuals, however we want your money, your support, your backs to step all over so that we can have our right to married (I have nothing against equal marriage), or to serve in the military, to help keep equality moving forward as the Trans* community very hungry and weary search and gleam the fallen crumbs from the LGB community while they feast upon it pats on the back, selling one another out, and becoming marginalized into a sea of cis-genderism as you try to discern out who is straight or LGB until your head begins to hurt because all that can be deciphered is PRIVILEGE. When someone is trans* and comes out of the closet and takes the risk, they fall from privilege and lose the entitlements that was afforded to them at what is and has become a lost birthright now that we are societal circus freaks, an ungodly atrocity who don't deserve any human decency and courtesy to exercise a basic human right to pee in public and restrooms in the restroom they most closely identify with gender with out having subject ourselves to taunts and jeers in the bathroom nor should we have to ourselves to the verbal, mental, physical, olfactory abuse and and self identity abuse that happens every time a trans* individual feels rejected, and betrayed, alone, and starts the dangerous self defeating spiral. Every time a trans* individual is called "he-she", "it", "tranny," (while I do support the use of the word tranny in personal audiences), or they are denied hormones, surgery and self and medical care, called out for not looking up to the ideal of what societal femininity looks, they find smashed any confidence that they felt like they were beautiful, or that they mattered. Every time that hope, light and a drive to live keeps dwindling until it is snuffed out and every single weight has fallen crushing the most beautiful gift of all ones soul, the inner light and sympathy and for many becoming the day the music died.

Now when you are dealing with the POC community who in this country is treated already as second class citizens because of their skin color, and because white male privilege has set some precedents and unwritten or spoken rules that control how "we the people" are governed by a majority that nowhere in the near future will see skin color blend so easy as the straight cis-gender and LGB has assimilated with much help from marriage equality. So follow same formula and we are referring to POC; women, LGB, and Trans* who becomes a 5th rated or lower American citizen where voting rights are constantly be changed, racism is very much alive and POC Trans* women especially (this doesn't even include mental health and HIV) hit road bumps every step of the way. TNDC individual SRO managers belittle and disrespect their trans* tenants going as far as threatening to not give access to mail if it doesn't their name on the lease, regardless of simple nicknames. Because they are trans*, it's hard to find jobs even with EEO because for many how are you going to work let alone show up for an interview when everyone has told you that you are worthless, that you're nothing, that you should do us a favor and die. After a while you believe it, and heaven forbid you LIVE in SRO in Tenderloin and you decide you want to go back to school but if you take more than 12 credits in a calendar school year you are told you will lose your housing. So you are for to choose to either better yourself with education and be homeless which makes it almost makes it impossible to study or keep your housing. With housing being a scarce commodity they find themselves shut down yet again. Most trans* individuals living in the bay area are on food stamps or SSI and SSDI, and for those who barely afford pay bills and rent, these women are unable to buy wigs, clothing, make up, or even small things that a woman should be able to brighten up their day or pay for hormones and feminizing procedures including breasts and other self confidence necessities to care. So many POC trans* women turn to sex work to pay for a quality of life that the Bay Area once guaranteed to people. California and the United States have suffered their people to impoverished and trapped because PRIVILEGE once again bought out the need to care for those who are in the most need and instead hands away tax breaks to companies like Twitter who just laid off a huge workforce when they received tax incentives to bring jobs to the city not create a even heavier burden with the money we paid you.

Privilege doesn't allow for much room to wiggle through, and when the unspoken rules of self righteous White privilege moral ideology Task Force that has obviously decreed that we must save people from themselves as they cannot be trusted to care for themselves. Acting as the self appointed saviors they find that it is necessary to stick their holy noses into people's sex life, vaginas, and infringe upon the very Bill of rights while making them think they are protecting everyone because they are just uneducated immigrants anyways who will be no more the wiser. The BOS, and all government municipalities across the country who enforces ideals of a Christian nation which continuously browbeats people into a fear by the use of an archaic book so grossly misinterpreted and perhaps the strongest and most dangerous weapon that fosters hate and discord (right there obviously not God written as the Christian God is one of harmony not discord) and the bible is a vehicle for more suicides, homicides, rapes and molestation's than the amount of deaths guns cause each year.. Using these tools we criminalize the people who last hopes to just survive and who just want to be validated as a human being, which many find almost impossible because they can't validate themselves. So because of criminalizing what individuals can and can't do with their body the privileged without consent force their morals or lack of on to people and where these women who were more careful to use protection prior to being arrested and given a record, now with a criminal record for simply trying to live, make ends meet and find their sanctuary in their city, it's now about beating the clock while hiding from the police. Where they were unable to get services before because they weren't HIV+, or living with cancer and other serious illness; now they are given the insurance to help get them by and survive, provide for hormones and other care all with the cost of having to live with the harshest reality that now they are not just freaks anymore, but they have become castaways, the refuge of sex workers because they now have the scarlet letter that says I am HIV+.

Check your privilege
-Do you know what it is like to be trans* and HIV +?
-What does it means to be trans*?
-Do you know what it is like to be told you can't pee somewhere safely?
-Do you know what it is like to be forced and segregated into neighborhood ghettos and blocks of streets?
-Do you know what it is like to be looked at daily with disgust or fear by someone of the opposite color because we people see media stereotype not just a person but a community?
-Do you know what it is like to be arrested and humiliated, continually degraded, and your most basic rights in jail violated because trans* are a joke to local law enforcement? Do you know how it feels to then be thrown in with people not of a gender you identify as for more abuse?
-Do you know what is like when your friends make fun of you, turn your back on you, make snark remarks in early transition?
-Do you know how and why the Caitlyn and Bruce Jenner's costumes were hurtful and traumatic for different reasons? Do you think of you close friends who are trans* when you chose such a costume?
-Do you know what is like to have to more afraid of the transphobic comments and attacks in the LGB community then the cis straight community? Or have you been around someone asserting their PRIVILEGE and feel that simply because the words "well I don't think" (regardless what you insert) and unable to realize they use their Privilege to shut you down and basically said I don't care why, or how you feel, My Privilege allows me to declare it unnecessary because I don't understand it or that it isn't important to me? People should choose a gender one or the other and the only genders are Male and Female so why should we create gender neutral areas?
-Do you know what it like to have to grasp dealing with who you are as a person and how you identify and when you transition you no longer wanted or needed. because you aren't one of the boys or girls anymore? Or feel shunned even from the trans community for being to much like the.you are still to much one gender?
-Have you ever had a date, or someone you hookup with that not only made you feel small and worthless because body parts don't match the authentic self?
-Have you ever felt you need to be "under radar" or second guess your gender identity ?
-Have you ever tried applying for a job and while living one gender and looking like that gender, you have to out yourself because your idea doesn't match your look. ?
-Have you ever had to worry about not being fearful when going to a new doctor especially traveling and outing yourself as Trans*
-Have you ever lived in fear of going through the security body scans that registers something extra in wrong areas of body per the gender you go by on your license.
- Have you ever watched your parents and family struggle to catch the right pronouns and watch the hurt inside because after all you been dealing with being trans* and coming out for a while, and then over night they found themselves losing an important identity (especially the mother), as they are being yelled yet for screwing up your pronouns or name when they haven't had the time to adjust.Do you see how your Entitlement doesn't allow room for anyone else's privilege to exist and you can't see the need for closure for not only for yourself but your family needs it as well. While you insist that everyone is against you and no one can tell you how you feel is wrong while in your mind and verbally tell everyone that they can F*CK off while you find yourself trying to distance oneself from its duality and cut away from a identity of hate and self-loathing of the self? In doing this do you find yourself running away from every horrible moment you had have endured under the previous identity and in a fight for survival?

We want everyone to keep up with the upcoming Tsunami warning in our head, when back in the wake, parents and family are still trying to understand, collect, process what just happened to their own existence while trying to keep their privilege from going at war with their kid; as they remember the birth and every beautiful and happy moment along with the darkness from their point of view. They wonder where did they go wrong, were they a good parent, could they have protected them more, or were they over protective. Trans* individuals often I have seen and I did it myself, declare their privilege as the only one person that matters in their reclamation, and thus denying the chance to talk and also creating a much harder period of adjustment as time passes more

Two or more ideals of PRIVILEGE can not hold same space, because each ideal is encrypted to a set of class individuals with their own agenda and quite often a shouting match ensues that is inevitably drowned out by the people simply tuning out what becomes a noise of confusion. When we are unable to listen and hear any new argue points, when we are unsure or don't fully understand the problem, in our head we fall back into the fail safe comfort zone of things that are familiar to them- including a political stance. Because everyone is claiming privilege and our bearing are off, we fall into line after we see everyone else is lined up on what appears to be the right path. Privilege without compromise is a money powered dictatorship, who like all regimes that use their privilege to strip others privilege away from it foundation find themselves after a while sinking. When one finds unbeknownst to anyone, until its to late, the misuse of any power creates cracks in the leadership until the time the foundation gives out and caught of guard. It is then noticed that an uprising is happening way before the fall right under the seat of power. Here trumpets the dawn of the coming of the freedom fighters who wave their battle flag of anarchy, signaling that the time for revolution, and the rise and restoration of the people's nation with ideals to bring in the reform by building up and supporting the weakest infrastructure first to lay the ground work in order to build up. We must allow privilege to move on the waves of compromise; We need to stop allowing paid for sell outs instigate a battle that they will lose yet again when it comes to Rights and Liberties of all people.

So yes the Trans* community has every reason to be angry, betrayed, hurt and weary of any cis-gender allies because every where they turn someone is telling them to get over it, or cisgenders exercising their Privilege to maliciously be cruel, even if most is simply because they don't realize that their privilege is in motion because it's become a normal thing to oppress and belittle another to make oneself feel better. The trans* community is the very people who cut the red ribbon toward the path to Equal Rights while fighting and say we have had enough. Quickly became the fight for gay and lesbian activism and rights and appropriated by Cis privilege to claim the gay fight, and moved their tunnel vision focused agenda and rights. While relationships more and more deteriorate between the LGB and T communities and with more people coming out as their authentic selves the numbers of and voice of are changing to a more we are tired of being marginalized and still fighting for basic human rights that LGB has claimed victory over.

Cis gender whether you like it or not it dictates Privilege; and when the fight for many has ended and LGB feel they can relatively settle down into a stereotypical dream of family, kids, marriage, etc we fins ourselves be whitewashed as a city, state and nation, because when it boils down to where is the support for the mission the arts, the vibrant paintbrushes that made this city a monument for hope, survival, a living memorial for those we have lost to AIDS and drugs, and while once a living museum it's shutting it's doors and culture and history is being sold with out a care as people don't like remember the dark stains and would rather forget then remember what came out of dark stains.

Cis Privilege is a real thing, it's hard to remove the emerald glasses because we don't want to see the deaths we have become immune to. We don't have time to appreciate what we have and when it's gone we lose a piece of humanity. How many cis gender people have ever met or talked to a trans* individual. How many people have actually sat down to try to understand what it was like for a trans* identified person to grow up. How many judge a trans* identified individual by there voice and looks and make your judgment before you allowed yourself a chance to say hi and every time you see them you form your opinion never learning that the have a heart of gold, and artist, and plays the classical cello, and served our military. I'm guilty of myself, I did when I first heard Caitlyn Jenner voice, or judge their features, and I am a trans* identified woman. This is where the argument is, cisgender privilege says being an ally to Trans* community is the same as the LGB community. Being and Ally is about education and inform other with the facts and with out talking to several different members you can't even begin to get the battle that rages inside being an ally isn't show up for the trans* March it's using your privilege to speak to your board of supervisor. Even the trans march trans* identified individuals where getting angry, and irritated because how many cisgender individuals were not only drunk, but they don't get why we march.

So why do I march, I march because their are rainbows of diversity and no 2 individuals are the same. Each one of us our own quirks, annoyances, some the live in fear 364 days a year and this is the one time the shine, I march to be listen to stories, to appreciate each journey. I march because my privilege allowed me to become judgemental and transphobic at times because of resentments I had. I march because I even as intersex woman when people called my trans, and Id get so defensive as if trans was a bad thing. I march to honor my journey. I march to thank Andrew for being the fortress and keeping me safe. I march because I am tired of my sisters and brothers getting killed, and politicians forcing their privilege upon me, I march for sex workers. I march because it is who I AM

Cameron a cis gay male and took the lead on the project in developing a larger transgender recognition in the training. We each had to stop and look at this training and privilege differently. Cameron wanted to learn and therefore let his Privilege at the door. We had to step outside of the box, Kailegh a trans* woman and student from Alaska and myself help put alot of input into this revisement. We even as trans* identified individuals had to check our own privilege to be as unbiased as possible to tackle the various issues. Like being intersex, I've been told often that it's different for me and some don't think the fight is the same; and I acknowledged that as I haven't had to endure much of the transphobic attitudes and problems that trans community goes through. And that right there knowing that I have my own limits, and because I haven't had the same difficulties it makes me privileged whether i like or not, and i have to be careful to not assert that privilege and invalidate the experiences of others, because my journey was my own to overcome. We began redevelopment of the Safe Zone training that had been being used on campus in 2008 before I drove my car into the reservoir 2009. this resource guide and the University of Utah LGBT resource center is perhaps one of the most significant pieces to my life. It gave me the foundation to live. This was almost 8 years ago

 https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B19KdKA-mqweYUpxNmJ5TW9iYlU#